bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

I feel guilty for grieving for you.

Dear Otis, It has been almost 2 weeks since I last wrote to/about you. It's not that I haven't wanted to; it's not that I haven't tried - I have just really struggled to find the words to write. I've been in a really strange place for the last few weeks, and I cannot seem… Continue reading I feel guilty for grieving for you.

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

Why am I still digging?

Okay, so this may seem completely crazy to people who have never been in this situation ... But I've had a really tough few days. Don't get me wrong, every single day living without my baby is tough, but some days more than others. I've been in a 'strange' mood over the last couple of… Continue reading Why am I still digging?

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

The truth.

Okay ... Call this awareness, call it a rant, call it whatever you please, but I need to get this off my chest. So much of what stillbirth parents go through is hidden. So much of what stillbirth parents go through is a taboo, it's stigmatised. After weeks of pussyfooting around a¬†huge part of the… Continue reading The truth.

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

He deteriorated rapidly.

October 3rd 2016 I carry a lot of regrets surrounding Otis' death, the few days we spent with him in hospital and his funeral. I did what I thought was best at the time; I did as well as I possibly could under the circumstances, but in hindsight it just doesn't feel like enough. One… Continue reading He deteriorated rapidly.