bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

I kissed him goodbye.

It has been 115 days since my precious little boy was born in to the arms of angels. I have managed to get through those 115 days; not because it has been easy, but because I have had to. I have survived, but I haven't lived. Surviving and living are two entirely different things. Survival… Continue reading I kissed him goodbye.

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

I’m as happy as I can be.

  I was so blind, so ignorant, so blissfully unaware of a lot of things before I became a stillbirth mummy. The world outside of my bubble was masked, to me. It was like I had tunnel vision. As far as I knew, every joyous or happy experience I had was just that - it… Continue reading I’m as happy as I can be.

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

I still had a baby.

I wish just one person had congratulated me. When my little boy, Otis, was born on June the 3rd of 2016, not a single person walking the Earth congratulated me on becoming his mummy. I received hundreds of messages saying 'congratulations' when the twins were born. When Otis arrived, not one person bought a card… Continue reading I still had a baby.

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

I cannot wait to see you with your eyes open.

My sweet boy, The last couple of days have been really difficult. Your big sisters started 'big school' yesterday. When I was dressing them in to their school uniforms I really struggled to keep it together for knowing that I will never have that moment with you. I know I keep repeating this part but people… Continue reading I cannot wait to see you with your eyes open.

bereavement · Childbirth · childloss · grief · infantloss · Labour · miscarriage · pregnancy · stillbirth · Uncategorized

I can only imagine.

I think one of the most frustrating things about becoming a bereaved parent is that NOBODY knows how you feel unless they have walked this journey for themselves. When you lose a child you constantly hear people apologise for your loss then they follow it up with 'I know how you feel because my (insert family/friend… Continue reading I can only imagine.